Funny Quotes and Sayings

Funny quotes about life, funny jokes, funny facebook status, funny sayings, funny one liners, funny quotes and sayings, funny movie quotes, life quotes

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? ~ Lily Tomlin

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. ~ Laurence J. Peter

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. ~ George Carlin

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. ~ Jay London

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. ~ Bill Vaughan

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. ~ Paul Lynde

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. ~ Will Rogers

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. ~ Hillary Clinton

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. ~ Elayne Boosler

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. ~ Woody Allen

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